Morgan Freeman:

-narrated his own birth

-soon he made his first poop, one of many in the life of Morgan Freeman

-the first time he saw himself crying in the mirror he became old and he remained that way his whole life

-from then on, every time he cried it rained. In Heaven

-when he makes a documentary film he narrates it first and then nature makes it so

-the only reason that the sun rises each day is because he narrated that sunrise in his dreams the night before

-he goes through 4 or 5 microphones a day, because his voice turns them into bars of gold which he use to found his quest to create a real Santa Clause

-he cannot be cloned. Because that would require unicorn tears

-he does not have sex. When he smiles a baby simply appears in a field full of kittens

-earthquakes are merely nature having an orgasm when she listens to March of the Penguins

-penguins did not exist until he made that movie


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